Tag Archives: #xbox

Batman: Arkham Knight Teaser Trailer Released!

Holy titillation, Batman!

Along with a brand new trailer (below), we now know three tidbits confirmed for Arkham Knight: first, we are now getting a DRIVABLE FRICKIN’ BATMOBILE! Second, Kevin Conroy is coming back as the voice of the Dark Knight! Hee! And last but not least, the game has been given back to Rocksteady, the folks who brought us the first two Arkham games!

If you’re like me, you thought WB Montreal’s Arkham Origins — though decent — was a major disappointment and needed to die a slow, painful, icy death. I’ve only played through the story mode once, haven’t touched it since. Meanwhile, I’ve lost track how many times I’ve gone back to the first two to play again and again. Even after Origins.

Gripes aside, I can’t wait to get my hands on this!

Deals on Xbox 360

I just fired up the ol’ Xbox 360 and noticed that there are some pretty decent deals this week for some game downloads if you’re a Gold member.

Witcher 2 – $9.89

Dark Souls – $4.99

Final Fantasy XIII-2 – $6.59

XBox: Troll My Teammates

Turns out voice commands are becoming a fertile ground for how you name your online accounts. The user below decided to turn his gamertag into a trolling command. The gamertag? “Xbox Sign Out.”

Often times, when you’re playing with a group of strangers, your gamertag is the only moniker they can use to express frustration with you. When your gamertag is also a legitimate command for your gaming system? It becomes a tricky piece of trolling. Observe:

“XBox: Activate Penis Scanner”

Okay, folks. The news has been making the rounds today that the new Xbox Kinect 2.0 sensor set to be launched with the upcoming Xbox One on Friday can “see your penis.” I will not fully buy in to this story until I’ve done some testing of my own (and you can be assured that I will be doing testing of my own.)

As a lifelong bulge watcher, sometimes-sketch artist and overall tech-savvy fellow, I have a unique combination of analytical skills at my disposal to hopefully dispel some of the hype.

First, the original Kinect used a combination of infrared & RGB imaging to create the image the motion sensor relies on to turn you, the player, into a console controller. The image was, to put it politely, a rough avatar of the players general shape but did indeed have a decent ability to mirror movement. The newest iteration of the Kinect will obviously be a vast improvement of that same technology, but while the image sensor will indeed be highly upgraded – there are reports that the new sensor can actually monitor your eye movement and the flushness of your face in high-activity/stress tests – the days of consumer-ready x-ray tech are still a ways off. Not impossible, but it’s not happening this week.

Now, this is the video that has every dude with a dong in a tizzy today:

The Bulge Vs. The Penis

As I said before, I’ve been crotch-watching since I was knee-high to a grasshopper, and I can assure you that what you’re seeing above is not, in fact, an x-ray image of this poor chap’s willie. If I might, I’d like to point out that this:

is not actually an x-ray image. Sure, as you can see in the video, you can see the dong flopping around, but it’s not because the Xbox Kinect is suddenly a home TSA scanner. It’s because this guy is hung. Pure and simple.

Here is a slightly contrasted/lightened regular image of the guy:
Screen Shot 2013-11-18 at 8.20.44 PM 2

Now, his bulge, cropped/chopped/zoomed/arrowed:
Screen Shot 2013-11-18 at 8.20.44 PM

The only alterations that I made included a standard lightening of the image, dropping the contrast a few notches, upping the saturation bumping up the shadow slider in the image properties and –bam! – the outline appears. The sensor so sensitive, that it’s picking up the shadows created by his bulge, not piercing beneath the denim to display his actual cock. Again, this guy is hung. He’s clearly wearing boxers (if he’s wearing underwear at all) and quite simply, he’s faced with the same problem that Jon Hamm is faced with on a daily basis; prominent bulge syndrome. Seriously. Imagine Jon Hamm in front of that sensor. O gawd.

Jon:


Batgirl Revealed in Injustice: Gods Among Us

It was revealed last week that one of the downloadable characters for DC Comic’s recent fighting game “Injustice: Gods Among Us” would be none other than the original Batgirl, Barbara Gordon herself. Today, gameplay footage was released of Babs in action. I have to admit, she’s a bit more gimmicky than I expected. Nonetheless, she is one of my all-time favorite comic book characters, so I’m just happy to get a chance to control her avatar in a pretty decent game. She’ll be available to players who purchased the “Injustice” DLC season pass soon.

E3: The XBox Roundup

The beginning of the week saw the annual advent of E3 – or Electronics Entertainment Expo – conference in Los Angeles. This is where electronics companies come each year to preview whats in store for their respective hardware systems, software releases, and everything in between. There were three big topics that Microsoft touched on this year that turn me into a giddy little schoolboy: Halo 4 and SmartGlass.

Halo 4:
I’ve been a Halo fan for less time than most franchise die-hards. My true introduction to the series – and to the 360 system itself – was with the 3rd installment of the series. Sure, I’d played Halo 2’s local multiplayer on the original XBox a handful of times when visiting friends’ houses, but the campaign storyline wasn’t something I was familiar with. Personally, the initial draw to Halo 3 was the online multiplayer aspect. Despite long considering myself a gamer, I didn’t get into online multiplayer competitive gaming until the Winter of ’06 when I would take a 12-pack of Bud Light to a buddy’s house to play Halo 3. Needless to say, I got hooked on the experience. Once I got my own copy of the game, I came to appreciate the mythos the writers of the series had built. It’s bonafide sci-fi, and on par with any cinematic story of the same ilk.

Smart Glass:
Smart Glass represents a paradigm shift in the way different proprietary technologies are finally beginning to embrace each other. It’s no secret that Microsoft and Apple have long been rivals. Where once Microsoft was the software king, Apple has now dominated the personal computing world, penetrating the market in an unprecedented way. As a result, it’s not uncommon for a person to own both an XBox 360 and an iPad, for instance. Both devices are ubiquitous in their respective markets, and consumers are less and less inclined to shun one due solely to the longstanding rivalry between their respective makers. Where does that leave us in today’s highly technological world? The consumers want their devices to work together, and the makers have to take note.

That’s where SmartGlass comes in. Sure, Microsoft would love it if you only had Windows 8 phones, or Windows 8 tablets, or any other number of Windows branded products, but this is the real world, and Microsoft has tainted their own Windows brand. (Vista, anyone?) SmartGlass will work with a myriad of Windows 8 products, but for the first time, XBox is offering the deepest interaction with non-Windows products than they ever have before. SmartGlass will be available not only on industry leading iOS devices like iPads and iPhones, but also on a number of Android devices as well. The limit as to what SmartGlass will be able to do seems to lie with the developers, because from the looks of it, Microsoft themselves are encouraging an incredible level of compatibility between their gaming system and other non-XBox devices. That being said, parts of the SmartGlass M.O. do come off looking a lot like Apple’s AirPlay and AppleTV-iPad compatibility, but nonetheless, much kudos are due Microsoft for an all-of-the-above approach to interconnectivity. For a better explanation of SmartGlass’ potential, watch the video below.

For the entire XBox 360 briefing, click here or follow the source.

Source [XBox]

The Walking Dead: The Game

 

The Walking Dead has had an interesting effect on a few us (never-you-mind my considering a real-life zombie survival team worthy of appearing on National Geographic’s Doomsday Preppers). And the show alone, come on! How great is it?

Well, now the corpse-infested world of Robert Kirkman is evolving into a video game! Don’t go expecting the exact same story from the comics and/or show, though. According to one of the lead designers (Sean Vanaman) on TheWalkingDeadGame.com:

“Well, the game is based on the comic and exists right alongside the stories of the comics. If you’re going by comic timeline: Rick would be in a coma. And episode one takes place with a new set of characters all right around the greater Atlanta area, experiencing this apocalypse from a different perspective than Rick.

You play a new character named Lee Everett, who is actually on his way to prison and, via the apocalypse, his cop car wrecks and he has his freedom back but, of course, now the world has gone to hell.”

Though Rick’s story isn’t the primary story-arch, Sean goes on to say that Rick, Hershel and Glen are in the game.

The site says the game will be available on XBox, PS3 and PC. Take a look at the teaser trailer and visit TheWalkingDeadGame.com for more information.

The War Is Coming

The multiplayer trailer for the upcoming Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 was released this past Friday and…

Jesus H. Motherfuckin’ Christ, this looks GOOD! Come November, I foresee spending so much time in MW3 multiplayer that my XBox controller will likely become fused to my hand.

Take a look below. Upgrade to the 720p option if you feel froggy. These graphics are sick. I gotta go change my drawers now.

A Star Wars XBox!

Can we call it C-36P0? I want it no matter what it’s called. I haven’t upgraded to the sleek, new body style of 360’s purely based on my love of my solid red Resident Evil Edition 360. But this bundle could possibly be the one to persuade me to make the switch. Who wants to donate to make this a #nerdjizz reality? Maybe if I ask real nice and promise blowjobs?

I mean, c’mon… a 3P0 controller!? An Artoo body and Kinect sensor!? Papa wants. Click below to read more.

Star Wars Xbox 360: Use the Force, controller-free – CSMonitor.com.

Batman: Arkham City Takes On Riddler

You know, I have to say, I’m a fan of the art direction for Arkham City. The only leaked costume I’ve been disappointed in thus far is Robin. I really didn’t want him to be included in the storyline, let alone made into a recreation of the Chris O’Donnell version. Ah well. At least Riddler looks snazzy.

Batman: Arkham City’s Riddler image leaked | Gamefreaks – Videogame news, reviews and trailers.