‘Dracula Untold’ Looks . . . Interesting?

Because the paying audience hasn’t been over the vampire craze for a while already, here’s another hunky up-and-coming actor in another vampire movie!

Now, before you guys start harping about how much of a hypocrite I am for gushing (see what I did there?) about my love of vampires in this post, let me just say I’m equally as tired of them being the flavor of the moment as everyone else is. I moved on too, on to zombies and ghosts just like everyone else did, and now it looks like we’re all jumping ship and joining the dragon trend (The Hobbit‘s Smaug, the tons of dragons from the How to Train Your Dragon movies, Game of Thrones’ long line of fire-breathers, and so on).

Anyway, the point here is the traction the ever-confusing Luke Evans is starting to get. I’ll get to why he’s confusing in just a sec, for now, let’s look at the trailer for his latest, Dracula Untold!

Intriguing! But am I sold on it? Not quite yet.

As of right now, not knowing anything else beyond this trailer, it looks like it’ll eventually make a decent rental or something. I mean, Tywin Lannister playing a vampire again (remember Underworld: Awakening?) is interesting enough! Watering down a horror icon with a backstory that includes a family and the sacrifices he’s making for them and his people, though? That’s the pill I’m having a tough time swallowing. STOP RUINING CLASSIC MONSTERS, HOLLYWOOD!

Anyway, like I said, my main interest in the film is Luke Evans. And it’s not so much about his appearance, which is, well…

And my interest has nothing to do with his alleged “drunk” antics on cam4.image

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No, if anything, my interest in him is solely on the fiasco that has become in trying to tune out his sexuality. Unfortunately (and I’ll get to why it’s unfortunate in a second), if you know the story, you can’t help but correlate the actor with the question whether he is or isn’t gay.

For those not in the know: back in 2002, Evans apparently gave The Advocate an interview in which he mentioned being a gay man and having had a boyfriend. The moment his name started carrying some weight, however, his representatives start a hetero-whitewashing and he’s suddenly dating women.

And, all right, I’ll concede that, at the end of the day, it is none of my business — much less considering I’m in no position to be ‘outing’ or discussing anyone’s sexuality when I’m not-just-yet willing to show my own face either — but this messy cover-up isn’t something that can easily be ignored.

Then he goes and does the cam4 thing.

Drunk or not, you can’t ignore the ‘sexual preference’ field. It originally stated he was bisexual, since it became public that the “stupidactor” profile belongs to him, the profile’s sexual orientation status has been changed to ‘bicurious.’ Reigniting, again, the discussion if he really is or isn’t.

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At the end of the day, I admit I don’t care. As long as he’s happy and he’s not pulling dumb stunts in public, like others out there. But it’s a shame, and ultimately unfortunate, that his name becomes synonymous with his sexuality rather than his acting ability because the man is a great actor! There hasn’t been a movie I’ve seen him in and thought “don’t quit your day-job!”

Whatever the case, however Dracula Untold is received, I’m hoping this will lead to bigger roles for the actor. He’s earned a place of note in my mind…and my pants!

The Twelfth “First Teaser” For the New Season of Doctor Who Is Here!

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Okay, so there haven’t really been *that* many teasers, but you have to admit, they seem to be touting every screen appearance of Capaldi as some kind of first. His peekaboo in the big movie from last year was kind of a “first.” The big, live reveal was kind of a “first.” I like the guy well enough, but I’m not fully on board with the BBC/Moffatt’s Capaldi-marketing-strategy. Whatevs. I’m looking forward to Clara eventually going her own way and Capaldi getting a new companion who will really play to his strengths.  -hw

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Weekly Pull List: 6.25.14

Justice League #31

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Power Ring was the simply-named Doppelgänger to Green Lantern from the Crime Syndicate. He was, despite the raw, well,  power of his ring, not strong enough to contain its will, and much like the Lantern Corps rings, a new host was found. This new host will be very much a challenge for the Justice League in this post-Forever Evil world.

Catwoman #32

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Selina is still in the midst of the thieving competition she was drawn into a few issues back. Last issue she did quite well for herself, and finally figured out how to manipulate the Mirror Master against himself to work to her advantage. This time around, she’s up against challengers from her fellow world-class burglars.

Tomb Raider #5

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In what I found to be a rather interesting move, Lara decided in the last episode that the only way to stave off the Yamati forces that haunt her and her crew is to in fact return to Yamati and effectively return the juju to the island and go from there. Two weeks ago we actually got a glimpse at the trailer to the newest Tomb Raider game, and since the Dark Horse comic serves as an official narrative bridge between the two I’m beginning to see some potential disconnects between game scriptwriter Rhianna Pratchett and comic writer Gail Simone. Of course, we’ll have to wait until the new game is released to be sure. Possible incongruous story lines aside, the comic still really is a good read, and that’s why I’d encourage you to pick up the latest issue.

$3 Island Stud Trial Memberships

Island Studs is a pretty decent site with a specific M.O.: get a guy naked in an island setting. Pretty simple stuff, and right now, they have a $3 trial membership deal.

Who’d Have Thunk: A Minecraft Striptease?

Here’s a mashup I bet you probably hadn’t thought about: a Minecraft-inspired striptease. To be fair, it is not quite the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen, but the guy underneath the Steave? suit is built so well, you won’t care. It doesn’t appear that he’s performing in front of a large audience, but he at least pushes through to the end of the song. Bonus points for the sculpted booty and  8-bit cardboard penis.

Can’t hate that booty:

Seemingly Legit Batman V. Superman Spoilers

The JoBlo movie network has released a modicum of spoilers surrounding the upcoming Batman/Superman movie, and they seem to originate from pretty reliable sources. If you’re not interested in the spoilers, don’t press play on the following video. However, if you’re concerned with the production like I am and want to make sure Zack Snyder isn’t fucking things up, you’ll probably be pleased with the three key pieces of info included herein. News pertains to Wonder Woman’s appearance, Batman’s impetus and Lex’s motivation. Don’t press play if you don’t want the seemingly legit spoilers.

[Featured image by Cliff Chiang]

Two Connors in One Day: Corbin Fisher’s Connor Makes A Comeback

Corbin Fisher’s Conner is the most recent “tent pole” performer to make a comeback to the site after an extended absence. In Hollywood, the “tent pole” films are the ones that bring in the most money for the year so that they can fund all of the operations & other projects they have going on. In the world of web-only porn sites, the equivalent comes in the form of performers instead of standalone movies.  In the history of Corbin Fisher performers, Lucas was the first of such performers. Next came Dawson, and then arguably Travis, but one could Connor falls more into that third slot. There are others, of course (Dru, Aiden) but Connor is a sight to behold. The tall, blond, and stacked performer is a modern staple of gay porn and it’s a joy to see him back in action, in a bareback threeway no less.

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[gifs by x]

Jake Bass + Connor Maguire for CockyBoys

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Connor Maguire is one of the best performers ever to have had the misfortune to work for Next Door Studios. After that studio pretty much sank like the Titanic, Connor did most of his work for Men, AKA The Jonny Rapid Milk Machine. Fortunately for us, he seems to be a bit of a free agent right now, so he’s exploring his options and working for studios where you might have never expected him to show up. Case in point: he recently teamed up with Jake Jaxson’s team over at CockyBoys to deliver one hell of a scene with consummate bad-boy Jake Bass.

Both guys have some sexual similarities and personal differences that make them a compelling duo on screen. Connor is the muscled, all-American jock, and Jake is the lean, skaterboy Franco-Canadian import. Connor and Jake both have hefty uncut cocks relative to their frames, and both guys are excellent versatile performers.

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The separate opening interviews with each guy are true to character. Jake is ever evocative, and Connor opens with a Superman reference. It becomes clear as they keep talking that each guy is going to pair well with the other.

Oh yeah, and did I mention the blatantly obvious? Connor is a ginger, and gingerness is next to godliness.

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Music Monday – WhoSampled

Today I want to do something different for #musicmonday. For the first time, I’m not featuring actual music but rather a service. One that I have long needed and only just discovered. First let me preface why I needed the service so badly with a rather wordy rant:

A few months back, I was catching up on some of the newer episodes of The Tonight Show. Ever since Jimmy Fallon took over I’ve tried to stay current because despite his shortcomings as a comedian, he has turned the Tonight show back into a really fun hour (ok, minus commercials 42 minutes — and minus the bits that don’t work 34 minutes) of television. On the night that Demi Lovato was booked as a musical guest – I’m not a fan, I just remember music-related information more than anything else – The Roots were playing an interstitial piece of music during a return from a commercial break. It sounded extremely familiar, but I couldn’t quite place it.
Cut to: 2 months later, that 2.5 second snippet of music is still haunting me, albeit not as persistently, and during some random thoughts about Geri Halliwell’s first solo album, I suddenly remembered that artist who styled herself as Vitamin C. Everything was citrus-colored with her. At any rate, 14-year old me totally bought into her shtick, and I listened to that album often. The very last track on her debut album was especially catchy, but I was unaware of its musical pedigree. See, it turns out, nearly the entire musical portion of that song was lifted from an old song by The Clash. Don’t get me wrong, the musical education I received as a result of my parents’ album collections was indeed substantial. Furthermore, VH1’s Pop-Up Video and Rock & Roll Jeopardy furthered my musical education. But the one primary era of the musical past in which I’d never been tutored was punk. My dad was a fairly straight-laced fella, and my mom had a varied pop-alternative taste. There wasn’t really any punk influences anywhere. I knew the Clash hits that would become pop-culture references, “My Sharona,” and “Rock The Casbah,” but I didn’t know much else from that band or their genre.
Cut to: Last night. I was watching an episode of Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix (“Valentines Day Massacre” to be exact) and I heard that all-too-familiar drumbeat. It was back. And I thought, naturally, that it was the Vitamin C song (since, again, I did not have the reference point of the song from which the music was sampled) until I noticed that the vocals were not matching up with what I had been expecting. Since Grey’s is a very music-heavy show (all of the episodes are named after song titles that fit the theme of the episode but which are not necessarily featured) there are plenty of resources in which you can locate songs by scene descriptions. Turns out, the song which I’d been latching on to for months was a total surprise.
Final Verdict: The song I had been playing in my head was Vitamin C’s “Fear of Flying.” That song in fact samples nearly all of its music from The Clash’s “Magnificent Seven.” Ergo, that Tonight Show interstitial as played by the roots was actually them jamming out to some Clash instead of forgettable pop entity from the turn of the millennium.

And that musical journey is why I am recommending to you a website and mobile app called WhoSampled. It is a remarkable database that gives you any and all samples and musical references contained within a song. Myself, I have what feels like a musical venus fly trap of a brain; I absorb melodies, flourishes, basslines, guitar licks, et al. but my mental cataloging skills are often not adequate enough to file away all of the information that’s going in. I have a much more visual type of memory in that musical notes can trigger scenes in my head, which then may trigger pertinent information about that musical cue, but not always. WhoSampled, therefore, is essentially my new god. I now have the visual spiderweb database I’ve needed for a long time, and I’m really hoping that my sharing what I’ve found can help someone else out there who also has a hard time cataloging all of the music in their heads.

Visit the website  – – – Download the iPhone app for $2.99 (worth it.)

If you’re interested in the aforementioned music:

Vitamin C’s “Fear of Flying”

The Clash’s “Magnificent Seven” from whence much of the music came: